Lauren Likes Ideas

keepfighting-iloveyou:

this is going to be my new life motto haha!

(Source: bigblackbootslongbrownhair, via bradofarrell)

wilfulwilf:

sageofmagic:

… Her long hair, still wet from the shower, had been combed down her back in a wet swath. Hilda was sitting on the floor, her round, wet boobs still wet from the shower’s water. She dried off the water with a towel, which then became wet.
Hilda gasped when she saw a reflection in her bedroom mirror: through the slightly open door, she caught a glimpse of the chiseled abs and square jaw of the mysterious stranger who shared her cabin. She stood and spun around, her breasts swinging heavily with the momentum. She grabbed the door and flung it open, revealing shirtless Torolf (which was seriously his name) quivering with desire in the hallway.
Torolf was ashamed at being caught, but his shame made him even hotter – hotter for sex. He stepped into the room, and his bulging abs accidentally smushed into Hilda’s rich chest.
As Hilda’s buttermilk bosoms squished up against his granite abs, Torolf almost had a dick aneurysm.
“Hilda,” Torolf murmured thickly, his throbbing meat wand pressing against Hilda’s warm thighs. “There is a secret I need to not tell you: You are my forbidden desire.”
Hilda had been waiting to hear these words. Her heart was lifted on golden wings and soared toward a radiant sun of perfect joy. She saw herself and Torolf happy together, bathed in the golden light of love. Her snooch got all warm, too.
“Torolf,” Hilda moaned, her lush teats straining with desire. “I need you.”
Torolf, coarse abs pulsing softly in the moonlight, stood silently.
Hilda looked at him expectantly.
“Oh, sorry,” she added. “Torolf, I need you – sexually.”
At hearing those beautiful words, Torolf flexed his rough-hewn abs and Hilda found herself being guided to her soft bed by the sheer force of Torolf’s undulating midsection. She parted her thighs in anticipation, exposing the soft pink petals of her clunge.
Torolf entered her like she was a lottery. His engorged pecker pushed inside her and she felt fulfilled with sexual fulfillment.
Hilda clutched at the bedsheets with lust and ecstasy and her hands. Her spongy love mountains hurled to and fro with each pounding. Her body was like a beautiful flower that was opening and somebody was pushing their dick inside it.
Then Torolf moaned, arched his back, and suffered from dick Parkinson’s. He pumped in all of his hot pearlescent sperms as Hilda spasmed with so many orgasms!
The two lay still for a moment as the stinky scent of lovemaking billowed around the room.
Hilda got out of bed, still shimmering with orgasm. She glowed with contentment, like a cat who ate the cream of the crop.
She walked across the room and picked up her towel, still wet with shower water. “Torolf,” she said softly, “there’s something I have to tell you…”
But her bed was empty.
Torolf was gone, escaped out the bedroom window. In the distance, Hilda heard the fading sound of galloping abs.

Hilda heard the fading sound of galloping abs.

‘Torolf entered her like she was a lottery.’

‘her round, wet boobs still wet from the shower’s water. She dried off the water with a towel, which then became wet.’

I am so sorry to tell you this, but I actually bought this book as a gag gift for my boyfriend on valentines day. The above text isn’t in it. However don’t let that dishearten you; it has time travelling Marines, a female only Viking refuge, more time travelling, an evil scientist, a makeover scene and a ball. It is the most horrific, best, terrible, laughable book that i have ever read. I’d recommend it to anyone.

the-absolute-funniest-posts:

Follow this blog, get free ham.

(via the-absolute-funniest-posts)

THE ONLY LESBIAN IN THE FOREST IS THE RIVER!x

Oh god woman, I love you…

(via wilfulwilf)

xekstrin:

sasrr:

my mom. This was to show there is no difference in the way they cover themselfs up. So instead of thinking a hijabi is oppressed, give her respect.

powerful.

(via yamino)

Read more

doctorwho:

Handmade Star Whale Plushie

lifeamongthedistantstars:

 This is my Star Whale, Jeffrey. He is approximately 8 ft long, 3 ft wide, and weighs a lot for a plushie. He is entirely hand stitched (because I don’t know how to use a sewing machine) and is composed of 2-3 sq yards of fleece and nearly 160 ounces of polyester stuffing. It took me somewhere between 24 and 36 hours to design a pattern from only this picture and make him (I lost track of time a lot.)

I will be bringing him to Gallifrey One this year so if you see him come say hi.

I am currently making another Star Whale but this one will only be about 4 feet long (my intended size for the first.)

(Source: swagron-fabray)

planetpatrol:

holy shit get in my mouth now

(Source: aht.seriouseats.com, via brokebackbakerstreet)

rosalarian:

kateordie:

nikinapalm:

glittahkittens:

nikinapalm:

octomermaid?

maidtopus?

mertopus?

octomaid?

from the drink and draw

oh man this is the best because it’s like both boobs and octopi and all my dreams are coming true.

how did this end up with sixty five notes in 8 hours

casually flips desk

…Because it is amazing and gorgeous.

I know a thing or two about merms and in my educated opinion I declare this fantastic.

hitchedat22:

I finished writing this today. My sister’s private Baptist college is making all the faculty members sign a mission statement saying they will not tolerate homosexuality. It’s beyond wrong, and it served as the inspiration for this song.

As always, reblogs and likes are much appreciated. :)

(via lgbtlaughs)